Common civility is becoming a lost art. In our busy and complex lives, simple gestures of politeness, such as smiling or saying “thank you” have become uncommon. We have come to expect some level of disrespect in just about every facet of our lives. People drive recklessly and without regard to others. Many engage in loud and obnoxious cell phones conversations in restaurants, buses, and movie theaters. Others deliberately litter.
Chances are that there will always be rude, disrespectful people. So why should we be concerned about increased incivility? Isn’t incivility an inherent byproduct of a democratic society? After all, there is this thing called the First Amendment. Why does civility matter?
A clue to these questions can be found by probing deeper into the definition of civility. While civility is technically defined as politeness and associated with good manners, the etymology of the word hints at a more expansive meaning.
The modern English word “civility” comes from the Latin word “civitas”, referring to the city or civic community. In this context, civility refers to civilized conduct of citizens. More than just politeness, the civitas element of civility calls for an individual commitment to strengthening the community, as opposed to focusing exclusively on one’s own wishes and desires. Translated to a modern context, civitas includes acts of community service, such as helping a sick neighbor or serving with a volunteer organization aiding others in the community.
Whether the community is a neighborhood, college campus, state, or country, civitas requires people to behave in a way that recognizes and respects the needs of others in the community. This more expansive application of civility is reminiscent of the Golden Rule, which encourages people to treat others in the same manner as they would want to be treated.
As civil people, our conduct toward others should be guided by mutual respect. Conduct such as driving while intoxicated, plagiarism, and bullying would all be examples of uncivil behavior. Such conduct does not take into consideration the needs of others, and may be harmful to the community.
The growing culture of incivility is critically important because it represents more than just poor manners, but rather a lack of consideration for others. This lack of respect, left unchecked, can perpetuate incivility and can lead to even more dangerous uncivil conduct. Consider the string of Columbine-style shootings that have occurred in the high schools, colleges, and shopping malls over the last decade, including the latest in Tucson, Arizona, where a U.S. Representative was critically injured and six victims died.
Civility has once again become part of the national conversation. Citizens, politicians, college students and scholars are opening a new dialogue, saying civility does matter. The many voices don’t agree on all the details of civil conduct, but the fact that they’re having the conversation in the first place is a start.
Kent M. Weeks
